Hey Louise. This video is for you, when you’re old enough to understand what is going on.

I woke up at 3 in the morning and spent 4 hours writing this letter so I’m just going to read it out.

Today is January 1^st 2021 and you’ve just turned 18 months old. Today is the day that you’ll know for the rest of your life. Today is the day that I thought would never actually happen. Today is the day that your other country, against all logic and reason, is getting a divorce. Today is Brexit.

You’re alive because maman and I meet 12 years ago at university in London. I cooked her a student version of an English breakfast with sausages, bacon, eggs, beans, everything. She loved it, and I was happy that I had finally convinced a French person that not all British food is shit!

I was studying French and Spanish because I had spent some time living in France and Spain as a kid and language was the only thing that I was good at. Maman, she was studying law because she thought it would be a good carrier choice. Turns out that wasn’t true.

We fell in love, we moved to Paris, I’ve kept cooking her English breakfast because you don’t change a winning formula. And 10 years later you came along, and with your smile, you illuminated our lives.

You’re alive because the United Kingdom was part of the EU. I lived in France and in Spain as a child because I could. Maman studied law in the UK because she could. We moved to Paris because we could and I kept cooking English breakfasts because I could. It was easy but today is different. It’s no longer easy. British people can’t just go and live anywhere in Europe. Europeans can’t go and study in the UK, and they are even banning the export of British sausages. Sausages? How the fuck did that happen?

I’ll have to start making Franglais breakfasts now. Maman is gonna be very “hangry”. My dream was to  bring you up in France and in the UK, so you get the best of both countries, like I did, but we won’t be able to move back to the UK anymore as a family because maman doesn’t have enough points. Yeah, that’ right, we’re living in a fucking video game now! And it’s called grand theft Boris. Who’s Boris? Well, he’s a badly coiffed babbling baboon, who broadcast a load of bullocks on the side of a bus, and people believed his bullshit and voted Brexit. And now the opportunities that our generation had growing up, have been stolen from yours. So I’m sorry. You’ll just have to wait until you get older, to experience living in Great Britain.

It is a great country. It’s just not as great as it used to be. And while I’m still proud to be British, it doesn’t feel the same anymore. Maybe you’ll go to university there, maybe you’ll meet the love of your life there, you’ll cook them something they’ll never forget, get married, have kids of your own, and come to visit your old grey parents in France from time to time. Just don’t forget to bring the sausages! I love you forever. Happy new year. Daddy.